I never realised how many stupid comments people make about vegetarianism until I made the decision to become a vegetarian. After stumbling across this incredibly funny article on Cosmopolitan magazine, I couldn’t not share it!
This couldn’t be more true….
This article originally appeared on cosmopolitan.co.uk
1. “But WHY?!”
This one’s understandable if you spent your entire adolescence in a cave, away from other humans/wifi. But that probably didn’t happen, so use your head; I either really like animals, really hate meat, or I have a health condition.
2. “Where do you get your protein from?”
Literally nobody cares about your protein intake until they find out you’re a vegetarian. If you’re actually interested; eggs, nuts, green veggies, beans, chickpeas, tofu, Quorn, edamame and seeds are all super-rich in protein, totally delicious and utterly meat-free. Not to mention the godsend that is quinoa, containing an impressive 8 grams of protein per cup and all essential acids. God bless you, quinoa.
3. “I heard that being a vegetarian is REALLY unhealthy.”
Cool, that’s why we have lower rates of heart disease and bowel cancer than carnivores, right? Please do proceed to tell me more about my health.
4. “So can you eat fish?”
Nope. PESCATARIANS eat fish, VEGETARIANS don’t.
5. “But you eat chicken, right?”
Last time I checked, chicken is still a meat.
6. “But you’re actually taking away food from the animals by eating all your vegetables.”
You’re actually taking away my brain cells with this conversation.
7. “But humans are designed to eat meat!”
If you REALLY want to get into it, there’s plenty of research that indicates we’re not physiologically designed to eat meat. We resemble herbivores far more than we do carnivores, as our teeth, jaws and digestive system appear to be made for a meatless diet. Do some Googling and get reading.
8. “Can I call you Lentil? COS YOU’RE A VEGETARIAN, SO YOU MUST LOVE LENTILS.”
Can I call YOU Party Sausage? Or Spam? No?
9. “Oh sorry, am I offending you by eating this ham sandwich?”
Erm, was my cheese sandwich offending YOU? No? Ok then, let’s all get on with our lives.
10. “So do you just eat, like, salad all day?”
Yes, just as you survive solely on salami and ham.
11. “Oh, you’ve got a headache? Must be ’cause you’re vegetarian.”
OR because I got really drunk last night. Or MAYBE because you’re really rude and ignorant and I have to listen to you yacking all day.
12. “But doesn’t this bacon make you hungry? Come on, smell this bacon.”
Bring that sandwich any closer to my face and you’ll smell the end of our friendship.
13. “Don’t you feel weak and tired all the time?”
Let’s find out how weak I am – ask me one more question and I’ll punch you in the face (just kidding… or am I?).
14. “Oh I was a vegetarian for a day… then I had meatballs for dinner.”
15. “If you were stranded on a desert island and starving to death, would you eat meat?”
Next time I find myself in the plot of Lost, I’ll give you a call. If I’m not too busy being chased by a smoke monster.
16. “Can’t you just have one bite?”
Why would this please you?! What are you going to get out of me having a bite of your beef burrito? It’s not going to change my mind. You’ll be one bite down, and I’ll be sad. Leave me and my vegetables in peace.
17. “Sorry but fake meat products are so gross.”
You’re literally eating an animal carcass and telling me my meal is ‘gross’. Okay.
18. “So do you give blowjobs? Because that’s, like, meat in your mouth.”
There are no words.